Space to FEEL = Space to HEAL
I have a confession…
I cry, on average, once a week.
Yep! I said it!
You can judge me if you like, but that’s my truth and I’m fine with it…most of the time anyway. But no, that was not always the case.
As a kid, my beloved mother, who didn’t realize how her words would impact my delicate spirit, said she never wanted a daughter because, among other reasons, girls were “too sensitive”.
It’s funny that the other reasons aren’t what took root.
The thing that managed to take root, to live in my young mind, was this idea that I was just “too sensitive” to be wanted by my primary caregiver.
Without fully realizing or understanding what I was doing, I rejected the little girl who was beautifully sensitive, freely embracing all of her feelings. My feelings became a burden, something I did my best to keep tucked away behind closed doors, hidden from plain sight.
No one knew the parts of me that spent hours hopelessly wishing that my dad loved me enough to acknowledge my existence more than a few times a year.
No one knew the dread that lived inside of me every time I left the house for school, praying I would avoid another round of harsh words from peers because I was too different to be accepted.
No one knew that I was so desperate to be accepted that I learned to use my body as a way to get attention.
My room was my place of refuge. I would sit, imagining my way out, sometimes tearfully, always quietly.
And then one day I was forced to let go. The emotion I learned to put away had nowhere else to go. It desperately wanted an outlet.
I cried for months. Literally. Day in and day out, sun up to sun down.
It was hard. It was scary. It was overwhelming. And it was EVERYTHING I needed mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
My tears became my way of validating my truth, honoring the beautifully sensitive soul that I am and (re)connecting to my authentic voice.
For so long I didn’t have the space to feel and therefore didn’t have the space to heal. My tears created a clarity that I did not know was possible.
And now, I cry when I want to, whenever my body needs to. My tears are a gift that continue to create clarity and healing. They carry messages that remind me of how far I’ve come and the magic that lies ahead of me.
Sometimes I still want to hide them away, to pretend they don’t exist. That doesn’t stop them anymore. They are free to live, to show up as they are. I am grateful for their freedom because their freedom is also mine.
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How often are you giving yourself the space to FEEL your way through YOUR life?
Yes. Logic is important, but when we ignore our feelings altogether, we create blocks that keep us from living a life that feels empowered, inspired and authentic.
So how do you get there?
Take a few minutes each day to remind yourself that your feelings matter. Your feelings CANNOT make you less want-able (Yes. I just made up a word). If someone tries to convince you otherwise, it’s likely because THEY are uncomfortable with emotion and that is NOT your story to read.
Instead of waiting for someone else to validate your feelings, give that gift to yourself. Waiting for validation from others sends a quiet message that we need someone else to let us know our feelings are OK. Consider outside validation to be a bonus.
Trust that even in the most challenging of times, you are and/or will be OK. You have what you need to move THROUGH this moment in time. Just be patient and gentle with yourself.
There are lessons in our stories. When you are open to learning from the past, you create opportunities to reframe the old stories that have served to keep your ability to fully embrace your feelings locked away.
Are you curious about what it would look like to go deeper in your feelings so that you can step away from old fears and embrace all that you are more fully? Message me to schedule a complimentary chat.
